Our world is in peril. Gaia, the spirit of the Earth, can no longer stand the terrible destruction plaguing our fucking planet. She gives five magic rings to five special young mafuckas. From Africa, Kwame with the power of long dick. From the North America, Wheeler with the power of medicinal cannabis. From the Soviet Union, Linka with the power of unflavored vodka. From Asia, Gi with the power of perfectly cooked sticky rice and from South America, Ma-Ti with the power of pure cocaine. With the five powers combined they summon earth's greatest champion - CAPTAIN MOTHER FUCKIN' PLANET!

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  • Premium 4.3 oz
  • 100% soft ringspun cotton
  • Made in USA
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Our world is in peril. Gaia, the spirit of the Earth, can no longer stand the terrible destruction plaguing our fucking planet. She gives five magic rings to five special young mafuckas. From Africa, Kwame with the power of long dick. From the North America, Wheeler with the power of medicinal cannabis. From the Soviet Union, Linka with the power of unflavored vodka. From Asia, Gi with the power of perfectly cooked sticky rice and from South America, Ma-Ti with the power of pure cocaine. With the five powers combined they summon earth's greatest champion - CAPTAIN MOTHER FUCKIN' PLANET!

Click here for >*Less Offensive Version* 

  • Premium 4.3 oz
  • 100% soft ringspun cotton
  • Made in USA
  • Size Chart
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